New / Old School

The church where I work is currently looking for a new Lead Pastor...which, as far as I can tell, is sorta like a Senior Pastor. Whatever. The big question being asked right now is, "What kind of pastor do we want to call?" I suppose every church asks this question in a call process, but, for some reason, the answer feels more nondescript than the other times we've been looking for a pastor. Part of the uncertainty resides in trying to figure out if we want an Old School Pastor or a New School Pastor.

Allow me to explain in the form of sweeping, over-simplified generalities...



An Old School Pastor and the church are joined at the hip. They are the first one there in the morning and the last one there at night. The OSP has their hands in everything that goes on at the church. Their influence is felt in every aspect of congregational life - from the style of worship to the way the carpet is vacuumed. The OSP is the point-person for all questions, whether it's their job or not. Nobody wonders who is calling the shots. The OSP may have a spouse, but they are married to the church...and function as Head of Household.



On the other hand, the New School Pastor lives a very boundaried existance. Their day-off is non-negotiable. They delegate most of the work of the church to the appropriate staff people, council members, and committee leaders. The NSP doesn't get too emotionally invested in the details of congregational life. They see their job as being to equip lay people to be the ministers, which means taking a hands-off approach. An NSP knows they will not be there forever, so they partner with the church without putting down any roots.

* * * * *

It comes down to trends in how (Lutheran) seminaries prepare pastors for leadership. A generation ago, pastors kept 9-to-5 office hours...and then spent their evenings and weekends making house-calls, attending meetings, and leading worship. I'm not saying this made them more devoted pastors (or less devoted fathers & husbands)...it's just the way it was. Today, we see the pendulum swing to the other side. Pastors pay careful attention to overall wellness and balance in their life. They talk about avoiding burn-out...carving out time for prayer and study...not attending things that don't require their presence.

I feel like the church (the whole church) is at a tipping point. We've reached equilibrium in the NSP and OSP pool. Both philosiphies bring good and bad things to a congregation. It really depends on what style / approach a congregation prefers. I imagine we'll start interviewing pastoral candidates in the next couple of months. It will be interesting to see what kind of pastor our call committee embraces...and which pastors embrace our congregation!

All I know is, after saying farewell to 3 pastors in 5 years, I hope that whoever we call ends up outlasting me this time!

Worst Movie Accents

For those of you keeping track of my Lenten discipline (new blog post every day), I offer you a brief explanation of why there was no March 12 entry. I went to the gym at 8:30 p.m. for an evening workout. While on the bike-to-nowhere, I started watching the Syracuse vs. Connecticut game. I left at halftime and ran a few errands. As I was heading back home, I heard on the radio that the score was tied with 5:00 left to play. I stopped by a local establishment to grab a quick beverage and watch the last few minutes of the game. More than 2 hours and 6 overtimes later, the game finally ended (Syracuse 127, UConn 117 F/6OT). Thus, my nighttime ritual of blogging spilled into the A.M. Details, details...

(As an aside, it was easily one of the best games I've ever seen live. If you can catch a replay of it at some point, drop everything and tune in.)





On the March 11 B.S. Report, the Sports Guy offered up his list of worst movie accents. I thought these were pretty funny, and even agreed with most of them.

IRISH
Tom Cruise - Far and Away
Tommy Lee Jones - Blown Away
Jeff Bridges - Blown Away
Michael J. Fox - Back to the Future III
Sean Connery - The Untouchables
Julia Roberts - Michael Collins
Brad Pitt - The Devil's Own

BOSTON
Rob Morrow - Quiz Show
Kevin Costner - 13 Days
Diane Lane - Perfect Storm
Laura Linney - Mystic River
Jack Nicholson - The Departed
Martin Sheen - The Departed
Vera Farmiga - The Departed

COCKNEY ENGLISH
Dick Van Dyke - Mary Poppins
Don Cheadle - Oceans 11, 12, 13
Keanu Reeves - Much Ado About Nothing

TEXAN
Julia Roberts - Charlie Wilson's War
James Van Der Beek - Varsity Blues

SOUTHERN
Keanu Reeves - Devil's Advocate
Jude Law - All the King's Men
Leo DiCaprio - Body of Lies

NEW ORLEANS
Dennis Quaid - The Big Easy
Kevin Costner - JFK
Eric Roberts - Heaven's Prisoners

RUSSIAN
Sean Connery - The Hunt for Red October
Harrison Ford - K-19: The Widowmaker
Tony Siragusa - 25th Hour

SOUTH AMERICAN
Rod Steiger - The Specialist
Robert Loggia - Scarface
Jon Voight - Anaconda

NEW YORK / BROOKLYN
Steven Segal - Out for Justice
Adam Sandler - I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

ITALIAN
Nicolas Cage - Captain Corelli's Mandolin
Alex Rocco - The Wedding Planner

ACCENTS THAT CAME & WENT DURING THE MOVIE
Helen Hunt - Cast Away
Kevin Costner - Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
Leo DiCaprio - Body of Lies
Angela Bassett - Notorious

ORIGINS UNCLEAR
Entire Cast - Alexander
Brad Pitt - Troy
Keanu Reeves - Dracula
Keanu Reeves - Dangerous Liaisons
Jude Law - Cold Mountain
Nicole Kidman - Cold Mountain
Nicolas Cage - When Peggy Sue Got Married
Tom Cruise - Valkyrie


(Best Accent --> Leo DiCaprio; Blood Diamond)


Let the debate begin...

Connect / Baptism

I wrote a little Bible study activity thingy for the ELCA Youth Ministry Network's quarterly "Connect" journal. Members of the elcaymnet can download the entire issue here.



the Gospel: Baptism is a daily dying to sin and rising to new life in God’s love.
the Point: The baptism that took place when you were a baby still matters today.


OPENING (20 min.)

Prior to your meeting time, affix an image of baptism on the center of a 4’ x 6’ sheet of butcher paper: (perhaps a baptismal shell with drops of water, a baptismal font, or an actual picture of a baptism.) Post the butcher paper image on a prominent and accessible wall in your meeting space.

1. Each person should be given a washable marker. It works best if everyone has their own individual color.

2. Ask everyone to find a spot on the butcher paper to write down all of the activities, clubs,
organizations, etc. that they are involved in.

3. When all the lists are completed, read all the items aloud. After each item is read, ask the kids to respond with a “thumbs up” or “thumbs down” to the question, “Does this activity punish you if you don’t attend.”

4. Calculate the percentage of items listed on the butcher paper that hold students accountable for participation. Write that number somewhere on the paper.


LISTENING & REFLECTING (10+ min.)

Ask someone to open a Bible to Colossians and read chapter 2, verse 12 aloud
“When you were buried with him in baptism, you were also raised with him through faith in the power of God, who raised him from the dead.”
What does it mean to be “buried with Jesus in baptism?”
Reflect—What are some aspects of your life that need to “die” and be “reborn”?

Ask another person to open a Bible to 1 Peter and read chapter 3, verse 21 aloud:
“Baptism . . . now saves you—not as a removal of dirt from the body, but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ.”
How can you “appeal to God for a good conscience” if you are baptized as an infant?
What does it mean to you that the waters of baptism make you clean—both inside and outside?

Share a few thoughts with the group, based on the opening activity and scripture:

• Most of the items listed in our opening activity require regular participation.
• Baptism doesn’t require anything of a baby— parents, sponsors, church, and God make promises in your baptism.
• Your regular activities are a part of your life, but they are not life-giving in the way that your baptism is.
• Even though nothing was required of you in your Baptism, there are still ways that you can respond to God’s promises as you grow older.
  

WRAP UP & PRAYER (5+ min.)

Have each student take their marker and draw a circle, box, cloud, etc. around their list of activities on the butcher paper. Then ask them to draw an arrow from their list and point it to the baptismal image in the center.

Remind them that dying to sin doesn’t mean giving up what you’re already doing, but it might mean letting your baptism impact the choices you make every day. It also may mean doing things for reasons other than avoiding punishment.

Let's pray...God, you give us new life every day through the waters of baptism. Help us to stand strong in the promises you made when we were baptized. Give us faith when we are unsure of how you are calling us to live. Remind us that you are with us alway—at school, home, at church, with friends, or when we are alone. Let us never forget that you are our God, and we are your children. Amen

Late in the Evening

After a chaotic week, I have found myself significantly behind in several aspects of my life. I was able to catch a quick cat-nap this evening while Allison ran a few errands with the kids...which means I'm gonna be up late into the night. Time to take advantage of the opportunity to be productive without interruptions. However, what usually happens is I get distracted by YouTube, Facebook, or Tetris...but tonight is not that night! I'm gonna make notes throughout the night, as a convoluted way of holding myself accountable. So, without further ado, direct from the "Things Nobody Really Cares About" department, I offer a live-blog of my night (all times CST).

11:00 - Got back from a quick run to the grocery store. Unpacked said groceries.

11:10 - Looks like Mrs. Smith made a really good apple pie...I may need to examine the contents of the box for truth in advertising.

11:13 - Baking Instructions, step #2: "Remove frozen pie from box, remove plastic wrap, fluff streusel with a fork." (Insert your own fluffing streusel joke here...)

11:22 - Brain Fuel: Raisin Nut Bran, orange cream yogurt, XXX Vitamin Water

11:31 - Dan Patrick Show podcast...checking church email...3 messages from the Treasurer (never good)

11:40 - Sunday School curriculum time. Tonight's project - lesson plans for "Simeon and Anna", grades 5 & 6. Ready...set...GO!

11:43 - The projected date for this lesson to be taught (lectionary-based) is 1/1/2012. Probably not a lot of Sunday School classes meeting on New Year's Day. Better do a good job, just in case.

11:50 - I hear the pitter patter of little feet upstairs. Grrr....

11:53 - Isaac sleepwalking...went right back to sleep.

12:01 - No more DP show. Too much witty banter. Can't focus. Time for Renaissance motets on Pandora.

12:13 - EHark makes an appearance on the gmail chat. She can't figure out what to blog about. I'm clearly the wrong person to ask for advice, as evidenced by my live-blog about nothing.

12:25 - Why does Mrs. Smith make me wait 30-60 minutes for her apple pie to cool?

12:30 - Renaissance music is making me sleepy. This is NOT good! Time for some boy band goodness.

12:42 - A brief detour to the Land of Tetris cured my sleepiness

12:53 - "Your love is like a river, peaceful and deep / Your soul is like a secret that I never could keep / When I look into your eyes I know that it's true / God must have spent a little more time on you." *NSync was a lot of things...one thing they were not - theologians.

1:01 - Why haven't the good folks who make Banquet pot pies figured out a way to keep the crust from sticking to the paper container after it's done baking? I've been a 20+ year connoisseur of these tasty treats. The container used to be foil...now it's paper. It makes no difference. I'm still scraping the crust off after waiting 40 minutes for the darn thing to warm up!

1:10 - S Club 7, y'all...totally forgot about these cats. Thank God for Pandora...

1:14 - EHark knocked it out of the park once again. Great "letter to God" entry.

1:27 - Losing the battle...even boy bands can't keep me awake

1:44 - Enjoying Gustav Holst's "Nunc Dimittis" on YouTube (aka Simeon's Song)



2:02 - Halfway done with the lesson plan!

2:14 - zzzzzzzzzzzzz


- - - - - - -

7:33 - I clearly had an epic fail in my attempt at an all-nighter. Sleep felt good, though. To recap: the lesson plan is almost done, got my act together for the Treasurer, couldn't make up my mind on music, and almost set a high score on Tetris.

Time for a new day!

(I think I just spotted new grey whiskers in my 3-day facial growth. Ugh...)

War on the Wealthy

I thought this Newsweek article was too good not to pass along.

Say you're a CNBC anchor, or a Washington Post columnist with a seat at the Council on Foreign Relations, or a dentist, and you managed to cobble together $350,000 a year in income. You're doing quite well. If you subtract deductions for state and property taxes, mortgage interest and charitable deductions, and other deductions, the amount on which tax rates are calculated might total $300,000. What would happen if the marginal rate on the portion of your income above $250,000 were to rise from 33 percent to 36 percent? Under the old regime, you'd pay $16,500 in federal taxes on that amount. Under the new one, you'd pay $18,000. The difference is $1,500 per year, or $4.10 per day. Obviously, the numbers rise as you make more. But is $4.10 a day bleeding the rich, a war on the wealthy, a killer of innovation and enterprise? That (aforementioned) dentist eager to slash her income from $320,000 to $250,000 would avoid the pain of paying an extra $2,100 in federal taxes. But she'd also deprive herself of an additional $70,000 in income!

It's Raining, It's Pouring

I'm in my 48th week of blogging, and in that time, I've learned two things about the tendencies of unaffiliated readers...

1. They don't care about how miserable your life is
2. They can only tolerate a finite number of "my kids are so cute" stories

If you're nodding your head at either of these, feel free to skip today's blog post...


The UlleFam had a bit of a rough week. On Monday, Evan was admitted to the hospital after fighting the flu for 36 hours. He was severely dehydrated and low on electrolytes. Our happy-go-lucky two-year old was lethargic, listless, and couldn't kept any food / fluid in him. He steadily improved and got to go home on Wednesday afternoon. The second half of the week was spent catching up at home and work.

Today, Anna & Isaac had the pleasure of singing at the 8:30 a.m. worship service on Daylight Savings Time Sunday. They did a great job, despite getting up an hour earlier than usual. We came home late-morning (almost unheard of for us!), and I settled in to watch some college basketball - triple header on CBS! - while the kids went downstairs to the playroom. A few minutes later I heard a thud...and crying...then Isaac appearing with blood pouring out of his forehead. He had fallen off the couch and hit the corner of the coffee table in the downstairs family room. Allison and I took him to the ER (our home away from home) where he was taken care of. Five stitches and four hours later, we were headed back home.


Throughout all of the frustrating, disappointing, stressful events of the past week, we have been humbled to experience several unnecessary and unexpected acts of graciousness...reminders that God is present, even in the crappy parts of our life.

• We had two ladies at the church, upon realizing Evan was in the hospital, brought us dinner on Thursday & Friday nights.
  
• The ER at Methodist Hospital has awesome medical staff. All of them went on and on about how Isaac was the best 4-year old patient they have ever seen. One doctor told me, "You should write a book on how children should behave in the ER." (Perhaps a self-indulgent blog post will suffice.)
  
• The nurse at the ER bent over backwards to make sure Isaac could watch a movie while he was waiting for them to stitch him up - and the TV was on the ceiling, which Isaac and I thought was awesome!
  
• The waiting room at the ER was littered with families who got nailed with the flu...most of them with kids younger than Isaac. One nice family, upon our bloody arrival, offered to let us go ahead of them.
  
• Allison and I were invited to join a group of couples for a night of hockey, food, and drink...and we didn't have to pay for tickets.

* * * * *

A third thing that readers tend to not like is people who are boastful or preachy about how "richly God has blessed them" with material possessions. (It's the Jabezification of modern Christianity, which expresses that if you pray the right prayers and live a holy life, God will lavish you with wealth, success, and happiness. Pretty much the opposite of everything Jesus taught and embodied.)

Bragging and drawing attention to ourselves isn't the point here. In a week where sensing the presence of the Holy Spirit was a challenge, it was surprising to be reminded that God is faithful, kind, and present in all circumstances.

Here's hoping I can continue to bear witness to this redeeming presence in the week ahead -- this time without spending a chunk of time at the hospital.

Web 2.0: Fail?

I'm toying with a new feature called Adventures in Missing the Point. Every once in a while I come across a very well-written, thoroughly researched article that is full of sound and fury, but signifies nothing. Though I admire the author's efforts, it is, in essence, a waste of time and energy because they have invested themselves in making an irrelevant point.


Here's an article, posted on CNN Money a few weeks ago, that fits the bill. Writer Jessi Hempel offers the assertion that the idea of Web 2.0 (the social-networking, user-generated arm of the Internet) has been an epic failure...because it failed to make a bunch of money. I'm confident that Hempel is correct, in the sense that Web 2.0 sites are not manufacturing oodles of advertising revenue. I'm equally confident that it doesn't really matter.

Web 2.0 set out to make the Internet more useful to the average person. It exists to make the Web a tool that everyone can use to supplement their existing relationships, and help users reconnect with people they have fallen out of contact with. The goal was not to create billionaire moguls out of people like Mark Zuckerberg (founder & CEO of Facebook). The goal was to create functional resources that people can use to teach and learn from one another. Web 2.0 is organic...it's information-sharing in its purest form. And, as such, it is only concerned with making enough money to sustain itself.

This is why Web 2.0 not only doesn't deserve "total bust" status, but the fact that most of Web 2.0 companies haven't gone under (unlike the DotCom boom & bust of the late 1990's) is reason enough to declare it a roaring success.

Nearly 200 million active Facebook users and 6 million Twitter users would probably agree.